Sex, Shame & Surrender: How God Pruned Me for Purpose

November 2023, I was invited to be a guest on Not Another Sex Podcast with Samia Burton. Now, just by the title alone, you’d think I would have immediately passed on the opportunity. But I didn’t.

I remember emailing Samia and her team, just to make sure my brand aligned with their platform. They reassured me we’d be talking about business, pivoting, and entrepreneurship. And while we did touch on those things, the conversation took some unexpected turns—turns I wasn’t prepared for. Before I knew it, I found myself discussing my sex life, marriage, separation, insecurities, and things that, quite frankly, I had never shared publicly.

And when the cameras turned off? Whew. I felt off. I sat in this overwhelming feeling of shame, regret, and guilt.

I kept replaying the conversation in my mind:

Did I represent myself well?

Did I share too much?

Was I on brand?

Did I accomplish what I set out to accomplish?

What will my family think? My kids?

I was so in my head about it that I never even acknowledged the episode once it aired. And when it finally popped up on YouTube? I cringed.

I’ll never forget the moment my husband was watching it in the loft. I was in our bedroom, and I could hear it playing. But I couldn’t bring myself to go out and watch it with him. I was that uncomfortable.

And then I had to ask myself why.

Why did I feel like this? What was I ashamed of?

At the time, I couldn’t fully put my finger on it. But now, looking back, I realize something powerful—God was already starting to prune me.

The Pivot Before The Pivot

That episode was filmed in January 2024, right before I entered what I now call the hardest year of my life.

I had just walked away from my coaching business. I had started multiple ventures (Iconiq Lab, Aubrey Taylor, NU Flame Fitness and Wake Up to Wix). And I was in this space of figuring out what was next. I wasn’t completely lost, but I definitely didn’t have it all figured out either. My goal in doing the interview was to give people permission to embrace the unknown.

But instead, I found myself talking about things that had nothing to do with my purpose—sound bowls, mutual masturbation, sex toys, and details about my home life that I typically keep private. And it felt weird. Because that wasn’t the version of Britney I was used to sharing with the world.

My husband later helped me put words to what I was feeling. He told me:

• Some people know Britney (my childhood friends).

• Some people know Jeanine (my extended family).

• But the world knows Britney Jeanine (my brand).

  
  

And on this podcast? All three of those versions of me were present (a combo I normally only reveal to my husband). That was a vulnerable, uncomfortable place to be—and it felt like I had did something wrong.

But here’s what I didn’t know then: God was already setting me apart.

The Woman in That Episode Is Gone

This week, Samia announced the episode on her Instagram... and at first I got weirded out. But watching that episode today, over a year later, I don’t see me anymore. I see a woman that no longer exists.

And that makes me so proud.

Because over the past year, God has:

✔ Snatched me up and repositioned my gifts

✔ Rebuilt my confidence in Him—not in myself

✔ Softened my heart in ways I didn’t think possible

✔ Healed things I never even spoke about

✔ Showed up for me, even when I wasn’t showing up for Him

This is the beauty of sanctification—the process of becoming more like Him (Philippians 1:6). It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you keep walking with Him, you will look back and realize you are not who you used to be.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says it best: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

That episode was not wrong for me in that season. But it showed me that the woman I was back then was okay being of the world. She was okay moving in her own strength, making her own plans, and not giving mention to God's existence through it all.

Today? That’s a no go.

My sole purpose now is to do my part in building the Body of Christ (Ephesians 4:12). If I had that conversation today, I would show up so differently—giving all glory to God for every yes, every no, and every pivot He has walked me through.

This is not a knock on the podcast or even my yes to the interview. This is just a moment of reflection where I feel led to simply say:

Thank you, God.

Because without Your grace, I wouldn’t be here.